#47 Martha Stuart's better than you at Entertaining
I came up with another Martha cookbook since I wanted to tie this post into trials, crimes and jails and Martha has done time in the big house. In this parody book, she says poached lobster is tastier than purchased or legally taken crustaceans, she should know. I have trials on my mind today since I spent all of yesterday afternoon waiting to appear as a witness for the prosecution. Gee that was a great movie.
As I've already mentioned I read tons of mysteries and I've never been in a real court room. I thought it might be interesting when I got a subpoena to appear at the trial of the fellow who was caught in possession of my stolen car tag. I got there bright and early for the 1:30 start. Turns out that's just the suggested time. About 2:00 a fellow came out into the hall and asked if I had "talked to the Crown yet, Mum?" They call the prosecuting lawyer "the Crown" which sounds very posh. The Crown was a lovely lady, she said they didn't have much evidence and it would be "tricky". This sounded promising. I had practiced all morning raising my right hand so I wouldn't repeat the hand mix up that occurred at our wedding when we tried to get our rings on. I had a tissue in my pocket in case the defense lawyer reduced me to tears with his Perry Mason-like cross examination. I was ready!
But the delays continued. I didn't have a lot scheduled for the day but I was starting to get bored. I really felt sorry for the arresting officer. He said he had gotten only 3 hours of sleep the night before.
Anyway, I finally get a look at the accused, he looked like a well dressed cowboy with a crew cut. He told everyone that he had decided to plead guilty but when the judge called him to the front he changed his mind. The judge was not happy and said it would be held over. The Crown walked back and said I could go and then she said the policeman could go too. I followed him out and told him I was the lady the car tag had belonged to. He had wasted hours and wasn't too happy. He said the fellow has a long record and knows the system. It would be interesting to know how much the day cost the Province of Alberta. From the lady who served me the subpoena months ago, to the lawyers, the judge, the officer who wasted a day and of course my valuable time. I would have been happy to take the $70.45 it cost me to replace the tag but that didn't happen. I did get my parking stub validated! Cookbook #47 Martha Stuart's better than you at Entertaining.